Bush shocks evangelicals

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George W. Bush's recent statement that he believes the Bible is "probably not" literally true has apparently left many Christian conservatives reeling in shock.

One blogger at the conservative Washington Times, commented the next morning, "I already have an e-mail from a former Bush administration official who writes, 'This just completely alienated his evangelical supporters.'"

Finally, the last Bush supporters this side of Crazyville have at long last had it with the guy.

And why do they dislike him? Not because of the torture, or the domestic spying, or waging a war under false pretenses, or screwing environmental legislation (especially endangered species legislation), truly epic accumulation of debt, or the bailout (whatever happened to the omnipotent Free Market?). They don't like him because he said that theistic evolution was possible and that the Bible probably isn't literal in each and every instance. Oh heaven forbid! Our President, Emperor Nero the Mad, had a fleeting moment of sanity for once in his life (twice if you count calling off a military strike against Iran).

Look at this graph (blue is approval rating, red is disapproval rating)



Everybody with a pulse and the ability to recognize disaster already jumped ship by 2004. Even the Republicans figured out that the guy is a terrible president, and they haven't even figured out whether or not evolution happens yet. But for the past 8 years, the Evangelicals have treated him like he's the second coming, and only now, in the final days of his presidency, has he finally alienated these people. Hell, they probably would have done an apotheosis on his grave if he didn't let slip that he's not a total fundamentalist-literalist.

And here's the ever predictable never-was-a-Christian reaction:

"Evangelical Christians were conned into thinking that Bush was 'one of them,'" the Moral Collapse blogger concluded. "the reality is that he isn't one of them and he never was."

ORLY. He tirelessly promoted the evangelical agenda - sneaking Intelligent Design into science classes, championed the remarkably bigoted idea that gays can't marry, diverted money from fighting AIDS to fund churches, and the guy even said that God told him to attack Iraq. I can't think of a single U.S. President who has tried harder to look as Jesusy as possible or wears his religion on his sleeve quite like this guy. He even said Jesus was his favorite philosopher, for Christ's sake. That's like saying that Ken Ham is my favorite scientist or that Bill O'Reilly is my favorite novelist. Bottom line: if Bush isn't an evangelical Christian, then no one is.